04/20/2025

Today I’ll be reviewing If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. This book was truly an emotional rollercoaster, covering the span of four years, and exploring themes of family, friendship, loss and coming of age. I saw so many people reading it all over TikTok and wanted to see what the hype was about—and honestly, it did not disappoint. It left me on an absolute cliffhanger.

The story starts off with the point of view of Autumn Davis, who’s quirky in the best way. She reflects on her childhood, growing up with a dad who was mostly absent because of work, a loving mother, and their next-door neighbors—her mom’s childhood best friend and her son, Finn Smith—who were basically like family.

Finn and Autumn were nearly inseparable their whole lives—until middle school came around and they slowly started drifting apart. But even with that distance, their bond was never completely broken as holidays, dinners and random encounters consistently glued them back together.  Finn becomes one of the jocks at school—the cool guy, the one who never cries or lets anything get in his way. Meanwhile, Autumn finds her own group: a clique of rebellious, stylish girls who don’t let anyone tell them what to do.

Despite growing in different directions, they still maintain a close relationship. They go in and out of relationships, friend groups, and face both academic and personal challenges. No matter what, they always have each other’s backs—but it’s crystal clear they aren’t as close as they once were.

As graduation approaches, Autumn hopes to go to school to become a writer, while Finn dreams of becoming a doctor and doing great things. After graduation, they decide to spend more time together,reflect on their childhood, and think about their futures before heading off to college and moving on with their lives. Autumn reflects on the love they’ve always shared, both as friends and in a more-than-friends kind of way—knowing deep down that they’ll always be there for each other.

But then, a tragic life threatening accident changes everything. Just as they begin to truly appreciate the deep, persistent love they have for one another. This book was emotional, sad, and honestly just a mix of all the gloomy feelings put together—and I felt every bit of it. The book left me on a cliffhanger, which I slightly disliked, but I was glad that there was another story, that tells Finn’s point of view of their friendship called If Only  I had Told Her which I have yet to read. If you are a teenager who is into soul crushing, gut wrenching, coming-of-age books, I am telling you, this book does not disappoint. Happy (or maybe sad)  Reading!