Today, I will be reviewing The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith. This was a great book to read, especially kicking off  the start of summer break, especially as it covers the character development and change of someone over the span of four years. This book was relatable in so many ways and can easily click with any teenager. I just bought the sequel of this book, The Way I am Now yesterday, and it still hasn’t disappointed me.

The story starts off with Eden, before the start of her freshman year, where she was sexually assaulted by someone she could trust—her brother Caelin’s best friend, Kevin. She was manipulated into not telling anyone, because it would just sound like a cry for attention and that nobody would believe what she would say. As she locks this unconscious trauma and the words from Kevin inside her brain, she loses herself. She loses the innocent, young, smart girl she once was and forms an unrecognizable identity to regress her past.

Once she starts her sophomore year, she forms a new personality, contrasting the person she once was by developing new habits of smoking, drinking, and forming unhealthy relationships and bad habits. She continues to get hurt by everything and others, but takes it as a way to further reinvent and “improve” herself. She doesn’t want to be the one that’s hurt, so she hurts everything around her. She destroys her bond with others—her interests, her closest friends, and her family. From being the quiet nobody to the most passed-around girl in class, she just further hurts herself.

This book was truly an emotional rollercoaster, as I felt like I was in Eden’s shoes going through the thoughts, drives and emotions in Eden’s head and realizing how one small aspect of your life can change everything around it. If you are into books that cover complex characters, growing up, and coming of age, this book is perfect for you. Happy Reading!